You Have a Choice

A lot is changing in my world, which causes me to reflect on who I am, where I come from, and where I'm going. What is important? What are my goals? What are obstacles? What makes me happy?

I am starting a new adventure- a new career in a field about which I know nothing. The risk is great, the reward unmeasurable at this time. J had me read an article yesterday about photography that pondered the relationship of love and fear. They are both mighty motivators. This man related it to his experience watching a sunset. Once he was on a mountain, celebrating a spectacular sunset alone and felt like it was his alone to enjoy. But, then he thought, what if I wasn't here to see it? Would the sunset be less spectacular just because it wasn't seen? No. What if someone else saw what he saw and was not moved- would that take away from his enjoyment? No. So, this is the choice we face daily. If something gives us joy, should the fear of the perception of society keep us from experiencing that joy? Either we can act (like the sunset) and be noticed or not, or be engulfed by fear and not act. This is the eternal struggle most of us face each day, with each choice we make, every time we decide not to act when we really know we should. When we should let ourselves open up, let ourselves out, come what may. Because the important thing is to live each moment true to ourselves. We do not know the rewards we may receive in return.

Last night I considered this while enjoying the amazing live music of the Swell Season. Here are two people who put themselves out there. They present pieces of themselves to people every day. They put love out there every day, told fear to take a hike. They suffered, but were willing to take a risk that they considered to be big, but not enormous. Turns out the rewards were beyond their wildest dreams. As Glen Hansard said about winning an Oscar for their music, "It was like kicking a ball out of the yard, over the fence. But it went past the neighbor's yard, over the river, past the next town. 4/5 of me thinks 'Wow! Look how far I kicked that ball' 1/5 of me says 'I want my fucking ball back'."

Well, I've kicked that ball. Time will tell how far it will go, but I'll be hopeful and keep an eye on it to see where it lands. Come what may.