We, as humans, also change. Change political views, jobs, homes, relationships. I see change in my life- some things come slowly, so I don’t notice them until I look back. Some things I see changing like the lines appearing on my hands and face, which remind me of where I have been and where I am headed. I am not forever. Some change we instigate, need, crave. A new path to walk down (literally, figuratively?) something we realize we are missing and must fill. Or you find yourself somewhere you never imagined. How did I get here and is this where I want to be? Maybe I should change…
The Glacier I had in my head was not the park I saw through my eyes this trip. Not the feel my skin remembered at all. Did I change or did it? Are my precious memories distortions of what I think I remember, but are really just things I made up and think are memories? I suppose I will never know which is real. It makes me wonder as well, who am I? Am I the same girl from 10 years ago? Did I change in a positive way or become worn, comfortable? If I travel down these same roads can I find the old me?
I look for signs of where to travel, the path I choose to take. There are so many options, how do I know which is right? By not choosing I choose, so why not take control, make a choice, the right one, the wrong one, whatever? Have I been down this path before? Does my life change in a circle? Repeating the same things, only they seem familiar and new at the same time. How can this be?
I think it’s time for me to step up. To make a change. Let my leaves turn and fall, plan and hibernate, emerge in the spring on a new path, fresh, and full of hope.
(don't worry J, you're still the love of my life)
